The writing that you are about to read includes very personal details about my life. These include personal thoughts, experiences, memories and other details you may not really want to know. There will be sexual content, drug use, and possibly not-so-flattering words shared about people I've met. It is important that you know that these are just simply facts of my life, and that by reading this of your own free will you have chosen to subject yourself to such matter.
And on that note, it's also important that you also know that these aren't really facts. You should know that there are two sides to every story and if I mention that someone is a "cheating whore", you should know that she probably doesn't consider herself as such. Take everything in here with a grain of salt because it's likely I also made a lot of it up hoping to get a laugh out of you. I just can't help myself sometimes.
Finally, if you are a friend hoping for an honorable mention, don't be flattened when you fail to see your name. If I wrote about everybody who has ever had an impact on my life in here I might as well call it "Nap Time" due to the impressive chain of Z's it would induce.
Enjoy.